Confessions of a Guilty Mind
by Xion-BR3
Summary: Schuldig gets bored one evening sitting at Brad's desk, and he ends up writing down his feelings for each of the Schwartz members. How will this start to affect Brad and his relationship? Rated M for safety and BradxSchul hints. Also will turn BradxSchu
1. Schuldig's Confession

Disclaimer: I want to start with the stupid disclaimer that has to be in here… I sadly do not own Weiss Kreuz or the Schwartz for that matter. If I did own it, you would be watching it on DVD or reading it in manga form. You would not be reading it on this site and I would be happily sitting in a nice house with nice money from my ideas to support me. lol!

AN: Ok, I just want to put this here and now for everyone. This has stemmed from MANY weeks of random discussions with a friend of mine. He loves diving into conversations about characters psyches and I just love putting things together that aren't answered in the anime or in what little I know about the manga. So this came to be and yes later Schul says it is 4am… that is the time I actually finished writing this on the forth day of writing. So if you don't like the ideas we have in here I am sorry but this is how we view Schul for the most part, and this is how I tend to RP him for the most part. (Yes, I am a HUGE RPer via IMs, and am in a massive search for Weiss RPers. Please PM me or something if you are interested.) Also I am willing to admit there is slightly Brad/Schul hints in this fic multiple times. That is the only relationship I really like and that is highly because I can VERY much see it. So please forgive me, but I believe they can be taken either way to be honest.

Otherwise I hope you enjoy the story. Also feed back is always nice for authors.

Also please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes. Yes, English is my native language and I HATE IT!!!!! IT MAKES NO BLOODY SENSE!!!!!!

Also a HUGE thank you goes out to Darkephoenix and Brenn for giving me your input on it as well! Thank you for all the advice and I am sorry if I didn't change everything you suggested. Some things I felt needed to be left worded that way. It was just how I picture Schul to write.

Have fun reading!

I am stopping this now before my A/N gets longer then to actual story…

Chapter 1: Schuldig's Confession

Schwartz - well at least that is what everyone calls us. Seems the four of us are the only ones that look at each other as actual people. Don't get me wrong, I know we are different but can't we still be human? Oh, sorry no, or at least that is what they teach us at Rosenkreuz. We are weapons to be used by whoever pays Esset the most for 'protection'. Though usually they are all high up businessmen that have nothing better to spend their money on, but have enough enemies to fill whichever damn company they run. I don't think I have ever liked any of the employers that I have worked with since I left Rosenkreuz with Brad. Brad saved me from that Hell hole, adopted Nagi and had him trained there for a short period of time –but of course not long enough to have them corrupt him- and finally along came Farfarello. That is when we became what everyone knows today as Schwartz.

Schwartz – at least it is family to the four of us. We have been together for years and outside of our team no one could ever tell we are family. To sum up the family Brad is the father, Nagi is the kid and Farf… well he is just Farf. I really can't describe him in any other way, but we are a family. Oh, about myself, I really don't know what part I play in this family to be honest. I always bug Brad that he needs to loosen up and find a woman. He proceeds to tell me that he has me, and the last thing he needs is another around to bitch at him all day. I can't help but laugh every time he tells me that. Nagi is almost like a little brother to me though. I enjoy picking on the chibi, and annoying him seems to be the highlight of my day sometimes. Then there is Farf… Well the Irishman and I seem to have an understanding. For the most part I leave him alone and I don't end up with any stitches from those knives of his. Like I said that is summing up our team, I can go on and on about each of us.

Let me start with my Bradley Crawford. He hates being called Brad. Maybe that is one of the reasons that I call him that all the time. I never call him Crawford. I don't care if he is our 'oh-so-fearless leader'; he is Brad to me, not Crawford. Oh, he is also known as 'The Oracle', but that isn't the real point right now. What did I call him earlier…daddy? At that thought I have to laugh. I don't think I could ever call him 'daddy' or even consider him like that. Sure, he saved me and has 'raised' me for years, but he is far from 'daddy' to me. At times I want him to be my lover, but then I know better then that. I just want his attention on me. To be honest, I would never want him to find himself a woman, of course then I would have to share his attention. I would HATE that! Brad is mine and no one else's… He is the only one that has always been there for me, and I know he always will be. That is a mutual understanding we both have with each other. Even the other two know that if you pick a fight with one of us you have the other to deal with also. Of course none of Rosenkreuz would even believe that a Precog and a Telepath could ever be this close. I mean think about it, a Precog can tear apart a Telepaths mind without even as much as a second thought. Yet, Brad and I are inseparable and would do anything to help each other. Well, haven't we shown them something? Brad is my shield… I mean that literally to be honest. Everyone knows I have weaker shields then most and Brad being a Precog can extent his shields over me. I don't know what I would ever do without him. Well actually yes I do, I would have never made it through life. Thanks the voices overwhelming my head and the headaches produced from them, I would have taken my own life ages ago. Multiple times the pain became more then I thought I could handle, and then along came Brad. If it wasn't for Brad helping me through all those, I certainly would have.

At one point I tried to overdose on so many different pills, just trying to get rid of those damn headaches. Well overdosing as well as a few other 'fun' ways that get rid of the headaches, but the headaches were a bitch after everything finally wore off. I believer I can even credit Brad for getting me to stop those habits of mine. He was the one who actually cared enough to get me stop, and it seems that it worked out just as he wanted. - Like everything else that he touches. Everything always works out the way he wants it to, but that I just another thing about Brad that I love. - Can you see why I want him to myself? I can, and I know the other two realize it as well. They know nothing comes between Brad and me. Oh and I do mean nothing!

Now on to Nagi, Brad's little kid and our little 'Prodigy'. What else can you say about the chibi? As for what my relationship is with Nagi… I would have to say something along the lines of a younger brother. I do nothing but annoy the poor chibi, but what else is a big brother good for. Though honestly I can't help but laugh at the thought of Nagi as my little brother. He is probably more mature then any of this team and more then likely one of the smartest. Ok, maybe not more mature then any of us, but sometimes I think it might do him good to get away from Brad more often. The chibi really needs the chance to just be a kid and have some fun. It will do him good. I know this is coming from the one who does nothing but have fun, and pictures life mostly as a party, but relaxing is important to good health as well. I've brought this up with Brad before and like usual he blows me off with a wave of his hand. Even when I talked to Nagi he claims that his fun is simple, being with his computer. Ok, he doesn't say it in those exact words but he may as well have, that is what his whole 'I should be at least 30' speech meant in simple terms. I've taken the kid out a few times, but it never seemed to end well for me. Either, I get no where with the kid or if my plot wins out over the kid's maturity level then I have a pissed off precog to deal with for the next few days… Well if I am lucky it only lasts a few days. Well let's get back to the kid and my relationship, Brad's pissy-ness is a story for another day –and another whole story if you want me to be honest-. Anyways I know the kid knows this is how I feel, that is the only reason he would let me get away with annoying him as much as I do. Though I have learned that he runs to Brad if I start to cross a boundary that he doesn't want crossed, either Brad or I end up in a wall. Which, much to my luck, I haven't driven him that far yet.

Now on to our local deity hater and so called 'madman', Farfarello or 'Berserker'. Well I know the first thought going through everyone's head… 'Why so called'. Well let me say this much, you people don't see inside his head. I can easily agree that the man is a complete psycho and nut case but I wouldn't go so far as to call him a 'madman'. He is actually quite intelligent. Once again, I wouldn't say a genius, but he is far from stupid. He knows exactly what he is doing and preplans everything he does. His visions are very clear, trust me. Being a Telepath really bites ass when you are powerful enough to not only hear what they are thinking but also see the images they are imaging that go with those thoughts. At times I believe that Farf knows this and purposively sends images my way, just to get under my skin. I've complained to Brad about it before and he always tells me, 'well now you know how I feel'. No, I don't know how he feels; it is fun to bug Brad. Farf just down right scares the shit out of me at times. Just think how you would feel seeing a constant flow of images of people being tortured in… let's just stop there. I'll let your imagination run with that one. I am very sure you can not even come close to comparing with his mind. I don't believe there is anyone else in this small world whose mind could ever compare to how his works. Sometimes I believe it works even faster then most other people's minds. Maybe I am a little off on saying he isn't a genius, if he isn't he is certainly very close to one in his own little, sadistic, God hating way.

Now is everyone asking about the dearly loved telepath, Schuldig 'The Mastermind'? Of course you all are asking about me. That is all you care about right? I know you read this far just to get to this part. That brought a forced laugh forward, I almost want to say I can assume that few do care about me. I'm lucky to have Brad, Nagi, and even Farf. They do care about me as I do them; I guess that is where the idea of family sets itself in again. I love them all, each in their own way of course. I guess that way is somewhat shown in the few paragraphs above wasn't it? Oh well, you can all deal with hearing it again. Brad in multiple ways is my lover, he cares for me and I care for him more then any of the others, but that is because I have been around him the longest. Nagi is my dearest little brother, whom I may pick on all the time but I am the only one allowed to, I would defend the chibi with my life. Farf… ok, you all know I care about him, but it is certainly a special relationship that there aren't really words for –besides pin-cushion and person putting the needles in-. Though in some ways I don't really mind that, I know I can be a masochist and at least I am the target and it isn't Brad or Nagi being targeted by him. I guess this has had little to do with me so far right? I actually strongly believe that I am the last person you want to know that much about though. Everyone knows I am the 'whore' of this group and I do nothing but go out to bars get drunk, get a women, get laid, get in late, and usually get sick the next morning. Of course I am also the then one who whines and bitches to Brad, does nothing but play and fool around, and of course you can't forget drives Brad crazy and keeps him from his work. Speaking of his work, I really wish he would pay more attention to me then his work... Though I know it will never happen.

What are the inner workings of Schuldig 'The Mastermind'? I'd rather you not ask… I hate the code name they gave me. I have no idea how they plan on me being 'The Mastermind' when I can't even master my own mind yet. I go out drinking to get my mind off of all those other voices in my head. Sure I do talk a lot, but that helps me keep my thoughts separate from others. I like to at least believe that if I speak it, it is my own thoughts and not someone else's idiotic thoughts that have seeped in and gained control over my mind at the moment. Brad has saved me several times from those voices getting to over whelming and taking total control thanks to my piece of shit shields. Brad always tells me that he believes I do have stronger shields, but the bastards at Rosenkreuz made sure I never got the chance to train them around my daily beatings I got from the higher ups there. I'm not sure if I totally believe him, but then again the only other people's words I have to go on are the Rosenkreuz bastards who claim it is a side affect of my telepathy being so powerful. I do have to thank them for those beatings though; they did cause me to learn my special 'inhuman speed' that I am pretty popular for as well. I bet most everyone was curious about that. Let's just say that as long as you move quickly enough that they believe they hit you, let them believe it. Also throw in some whining just for affect and most people will fall right into what you want them to believe. Come to think of it maybe that is why I whine so much now. It all just stems back to those days when I use to do it all the time to get the bastards to leave me alone. Wow, I even discovered something out about myself just now. Aren't you all glad you were here to witness that?

Now you are asking about my smoking, drinking and sex problems? Allow me to laugh and inform you that all are far from problems, I would call them solutions to other problems in everyday life. I am not addicted to nicotine, no matter how much Brad, Nagi and Farf claim I am. Though let me tell you stress seems to build more without a nice dose of it. Wait… that would be addiction wouldn't it? Well shit, that didn't work to my advantage. As for drinking, wouldn't you drink if you had a million other people's thoughts running through your head at once? Let me tell you it is one of the most uncomfortable feelings ever. When you say 'I wish I could know what they are thinking'. Let me answer that one for you, no you do not wish that and you are very happy you can't hear others thoughts. Simple enough answer right? Yes. See now we all agree, wasn't that simpler then arguing with me? Though let me assure you, if you didn't agree with me, you would have sooner then you think. I never said being a Telepath was nothing but down sides, controlling people actions through their thoughts is a lot of fun, but multiple voices are hell when you can't tell your own thoughts from someone else's. That is the only thing that really is a down side to me, otherwise I love fucking with a person's mind.

I am not trying to avoid the sex question! Honestly I was getting to it faster then you think…maybe. Ok, ok, ok, I will answer your question. Though, to be honest with you, if you want the full and honest truth you need to know what little about my past that I know. When I was in Rosenkreuz most of my memory was wiped of my parents and the life I lived before I was taken there. They wanted to be able to transform me into whatever they wanted without any set backs, well I guess I am just a set back in general. I am still not formed into what they wanted; I am formed into what Brad wanted. The only things I know about the life before Rosenkreuz was that my parents were very loving toward me, I was an only child, and I killed my parents… That is also the reason for my name. How else do you expect some kid to come with a name like Schuldig, 'Guilty'. My powers came from my mom's side, and from what I understand she knew that I would lose control of my power once I gained it and I would kill them. She had me anyways and this 'foretelling' came to be. I found out via getting nosey one day at Rosenkreuz and sneaking a peek at my own file, that day I burned my file and completely lost who I use to be. That is the day I became Schuldig. I still want that love, and maybe in my own way I am searching for it. I know I have found it in Brad, I think anyone can see that if they know us in even the slightest way. Isn't it obvious I tend to stay near him and I become very clingy when he is around? I have been told it is overly obvious, mostly by Brad himself though. He says I like to 'paw at him' whenever I get the chance. Let me say something, being a telepath physical contact means a lot more to me then to most other people, and with Brad is means even more. He can already shield my mind from the voices but coming in physical contact with the man just amplifies the affect even more… Another one of the many reasons I sometimes find myself wishing him to be my lover and I his. Though if you actually think about it, can you really blame me?

Maybe I need to just end my thoughts there. I seem to be in an odd mood at the moment and I would prefer to not carry this on until I spill my whole soul out here on this damn piece of paper. What have I learned today? Don't sit at Brad's desk waiting for him to come home with an empty piece of paper in from of me. It seems to turn out in some of the worst ways possible. I also need to rip this to sheds before someone in this household finds it and I never live it down.

I wonder where Brad is anyway. He had a meeting today with some new employer and I was suppose to keep an eye on the house sense our 'oh so mature youngest member' was out for the day. I think I might head to bed soon though, I am getting tired and waiting up isn't sounding that pleasing to me at the moment. Even though it is already 4am and this is usually the time I am getting in from a 'night of parties'. I am always happy to be home, once I get back though. I miss the other three when I am out, and sometimes I actually can't wait to get home. Oh lord, I said I would end it here. I think I will now. Brad's bed seems to be calling me and that way I will know when he gets home as well as be near him all night.

On that note it is time to write Gute Nacht to everyone. I am too tired to destroy this at the moment; I will worry about it in the morning.

A/N: Well on that note what do you think? Please don't be too harsh on me. We both love this anime and it seems to be the one that has kept our attention the longest, and has stemmed the most side conversation on road trips (yay for anime conventions!!!). Thanks for reading now if you could please be kind enough to press the little 'go' button and review, that would be great!

Oh, I really don't plan on adding chapters of the other characters unless this is that popular. So please review if you like and want me to go on.


	2. Brad's Response

Disclaimer: HA! Check chapter one… I don't need to write another one…

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH BRENN!!!! She was a jewel and wrote this chapter for me. Please look into her work, it is beautiful. She is a wonderful writer!! hugs Brenn Now that this has become a team story, Brenn should get just as much credit as me!! She is a wonderful Brad in my opinion!!

THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!

Now to get onto the chapter itself… Thanks for reading everyone!!!

**Chapter 2: Crawford's Response**

It is early morning when I park the car in the park house that is located under the building where we live and took the elevator to the seventh floor. Working for filthy rich business men allows Schwarz to constantly live in penthouses. While waiting for the elevator to stop at the right floor I looked at my watch to check the time. 6 am. The meeting with the new employer Esset appointed had taken longer than I first anticipated. I had forced many visions to decide which would be the most profitable outcome making me tired. The only thing I wanted right now was my bed. The elevator doors opened and I stepped out heading for the door at the end of the corridor. As I opened the door I was wondering if the house was in one piece. It was Schuldig's responsibility to mind the place since Nagi was away.

I closed the door and stood for a moment to listen. Only this early in the day was the house so quiet. Farfarello was secured in his room and Schuldig was most likely fast asleep, randomly picking up thoughts from our neighbours and mumbling them aloud. Taking my shoes off, and coat, I went to my room, but what I saw made me stop. On my bed lay the sprawled out form of a redhead. Schuldig slept on his side with one arm folded under his head like a pillow the other hanging off the bed and his face turned toward the door. Long reddish strands fell over closed eyes and shifted with every breath. As I had guessed his lips mouthed some lose words. I walk over to the desk to put my suitcase down and saw pieces of paper that I had left earlier on my desk. They were now filled in with Schuldig's handwriting. The telepath must have been bored.

I'm tired and should go to sleep, but I'm far too curious about what Schuldig had written. Leaning on the desk I take the papers and start reading.

When I'm finished I can't help, but smile at the last paragraphs. If you wanted to dispose your confession, Schuldig, you should have done it immediately not wait until morning. You are not a morning person, have never been, unlike me.

I look sideways, seeing that there are still some papers left and an idea occurs to me. I sit down, pick up the pen and start writing.

Schwarz - could be regarded as a family as you so nicely put it, but we are so much more than that. I like to compare us to the wheels in a machine, each of us has a task and we all complete it. We are team mates, partners and …friends.

Schuldig, you are the closest thing I can call a friend. Although, you are most of the time a pain in the ass and you do nothing but distract me from my work. I tell you off and am angry when you disturb me, but I'm glad that you care enough to bother me. Nagi and Farfarello would never do that and I would never accept it if they did. You have proven to me many times that you are someone I can rely on and trust that you will watch my back. I know you like to believe I'm perfect and can foresee everything that is going to happen. I have to disappoint you, though, I don't.

Should I ever follow your advice and get a woman, I have an idea that you would make sure she would disappear as quickly as she came. I know you don't like it when someone other than you gets hold of my attention for long periods, but you will have to deal with that. As much as you like to imagine I'm your lover, it won't come true. I like to keep things to myself. There are some that I don't tell anyone, not even you, especially not you. Still, you are the only person that knows me as the person I am. Not Crawford, the part that Rosenkreuz created and Esset wants.

Speaking of Rosenkreuz, I found you there, a scrawny telepath almost half crazy from all the minds around you, but you were the only one who still had retained your own personality and a will. At that point I already knew you would be the telepath for my team, I would not be satisfied with someone else.

I guess now is a good moment to end this letter. It is almost 7 am and I realize I have gone for 24 hours without sleep. Should you wake up before me, which I don't doubt you will make sure both letters, yours and mine are gone from my desk. The other two don't have to know what nonsense we have written.

A/N: Please review and let us know what you think. I am working on Schuldig's response to this at the moment. So hopefully I will have that up soon as well. Hope you all are enjoying reading letters between these two.

**Darkephoenix: **I am glad you liked it so much, I spent a lot of time on that… But lets just say Schul wrote it not me… I had to read it over myself a few times to get what he was trying to say at first. lol! Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!

**Train XIII: **Well here is your wish, Brad found it and responded… Now to see what Schu has to say to this! wonders herself what he is going to say As you said Train, Schul did write this himself, I had little say in it.


	3. Confessed Feelings

**Disclaimer**: Once again, it is back in chapter one!

**A/N**: Wow, this came quick. Thank you to Brenn once again for all the help. Also thanks for being Brad in this for me! I am VERY thankful for all the help, I can't say thanks enough to you!

Well on to the story this time… simple short thanks!

**Chapter 3: Confessed Feelings**

Well Brad…Should I start this all out on the good words I have or the bad? Maybe I should start off good so you can just be mad at the end. I have gotten to know you well enough that I know that you will be mad by the end of this letter.

Shall I say I am flattered that you hold my friendship so close? I really never knew that I truly meant that much to you. I knew that we were probably the closest of the team, but truly I just thought that it might be because we have been together longer then the others. We spent some years together before we got our whole team, truly I still treasure those years very much. I miss being around just you as much as I use to be able to. Though while we are on the subject I do have to ask you one question; do I really know the true you? You say that I know you and not what Rosenkreuz and Esset formed, but is that really fully true? I don't mean to offend you, but I really thought that no one knew that side of you… Am I really that lucky?

Well on to making you mad I guess… I can't really put off the inevitable for too long.

Don't you think that calling your team a 'machine' is a little low? I can agree that we do each have a job and we will perform it to the fullest, but I'm not sure I would go so far as to say we are a machine. Though, you were very touching and a lot more open than I would have expected there, Braddy. 'Could be regarded as a family…but we are so much more than that' I believe is how you worded it. I never would have expected you to be so deep with this, but I am happily surprised.

Do you really look that highly on me Brad? I've tried to prove myself to you, and from what you have admitted, I have. At least I can say I did accomplish one thing in my life, and I am even happier that it was bringing you to trust me more. I would never allow anything to happen to you, and would lay my life down to save yours. I will never leave your side Brad, as long as I have any say in it. Though, on a lighter note of our relationship, I enjoy bothering you. I know that you are angry, but you need to loosen up some how. My bothering usually seems to at least help you a little. It is nice to know that my help is at appreciated even just little. Also, I will agree that Farf and Nagi would never bother you in the slightest when it came to your work. Nagi respects you too much and is afraid of angering you, and you have 'trained' Farf to know not to bother you. As for me, well like you said, I was one that kept my personality and will. Bothering you is part of that will, Braddy.

Ok, Brad. I will also fully admit that I would hate it if you ever brought a girl back and claimed that you cared for her, and that she suddenly got more attention than me. I will also admit that it would probably be the easiest way to set up the girl's death. Can I also throw in one smaller piece of honesty here? I'm not sure if I could kill her… If you truly cared for her that much I couldn't hurt you, so I would leave her alone, but I might disappear suddenly. I'm the one who gets your attention Brad, no one else. I want your attention and as you already well know, I will do about anything to get it… You are perfect Brad. To me you are perfect, and you always will be. I do love you, more then anyone else. More then I will ever love anyone else, you are my lover… Even if these feelings aren't returned and I am left alone in this, I can't change what I feel for you. I will keep wishing that someday you might love me as well. Even if that day never comes, can't I wish for it?

Oh, while I am still on this subject, this secondary subject seems to go hand in hand with it. You don't tell me everything? You act like I thought you did. I never expected you to be thoroughly open with me, or anyone for that matter. That just isn't how you are Brad, but that also doesn't bother me. I love you for who you are, and not telling me something isn't going to change that. I can only assume that the things you don't tell me, you are keeping hidden from me for a reason. I never would doubt your reasoning, it has led this team further then you think. Also your reasons, no matter how much I may not show it, mean a lot to me. I would follow you anywhere just because you asked me to, hell I would follow you even if you asked me not to. I have learned that your reasons mean everything, and that it is safe to base my life on your reasons. From what you said you seem to already know this but I want to write it to you anyways. Never doubt my loyalty to you Brad; I would be the last person to turn against you. As I stated before, I would willingly die for you. Know that this simple fact will never change.

You already knew I was the correct one for your team when you first found me at Rosenkreuz? I know that was a stupid question. You are a precog, how wouldn't you know. I have to ask though, was that the only reason? You also said that me keeping my personality and will led you to believe I was the one. Were there other reasons? Did you see a vision of me on the team? Did you just want me because Rosenkreuz had not been able to corrupt me, unlike most that pass through those doors? Maybe these questions don't need answers, but I had to ask them. I want to believe I know the answer, but maybe I just want to actually hear it directly from you. I want to know, for sure, that I am right. I really don't believe you understand how much it meant to me that you saved me from that layer of Hell. I wouldn't have made it much longer without you coming to rescue me. Yes, I was scrawny but has that really changed at all? I like how I look, and I hope you do as well. I being 'scrawny', as you so wonderfully put it. I do know that being half crazy from the minds around me has changed. That would be all thanks to you as well though Brad, and you know it. You are the only thing that has put me back together and somewhat made me whole again. I do say somewhat only because I know I am no where near what I could be to help you. I was often told that I was the most powerful telepath they had ever seen. I find that hard to believe, what with my shields being shit and everything else. It is hard to believe you are that powerful when you can hardly control your own mind, let alone who you allow in.

Do I talk too much? I know you aren't much of a talker, but my letters seem to be way longer than they need to be… Oh well, I guess you can deal with that can't you? I have a lot to say and, for one reason or another, you seemed to have been interested enough to read it and even respond to me. Which, I will say that it was a surprise to wake up and have paper sitting by what I wrote the night before with your handwriting on it. I also realize I am not a morning person, but I was too lazy to destroy that last night. Also I didn't think you would actually take time to sit and read what I had written. I thought you would just put your things away and come to bed. The last thing I expected was you to read through that and take the time to write back to me. I am very honored Herr Crawford. Please don't yell at me for that…

To close this on a lightly note, so that maybe you won't be too mad at me when I see you after you read this… What time did you get home?!? You ended your letter by saying it was 7am and you had gone 24 hours without sleep. How do you do that Braddy?!?

Another thing, you know full well that I will not wake up before you. I am just happy that you left this letter so that I could read it. I stored the other two letters away so you don't have to worry about the other two members finding the 'nonsense' we wrote, as you so kindly put it. They will never find our letters, which I can promise you. I will also make sure that this and any further letters are taken care of in the same manner.

This is the last question before I end this and head to your office to bother you. Did you really have to call all this nonsense? So what if I am spilling emotions here, is it really nonsense?

**A/N**: Thank you to all reviewers, the thoughts are much appreciated, and also much wanted!!! Please keep reviewing!


	4. Ending it Here

**Disclaimer:** Check chapter one, I am not rewriting that every time…

**A/N: **Thanks again to Brenn, Brad chapters are all on her and I thank her again for being such a jewel and writing them. You really are good at writing Brad my dear friend!! Enough chatting this time, on to this chapter!

**Chapter 4: Ending It Here…**

After reading your answer it showed me all the more that I shouldn't have bothered to read and even write back. You're right I am mad and this is going to be the last time I write. Should you write a reply to this I will read it, but don't expect an answer from me. To come back to your question about knowing me. You do know who I really am, but it is just a small part. I know you will watch my back just as I would yours, that is the reason why I can be a little at ease when you're around.

You can wish for anything you want Schuldig. Even if we are not free to do what we like, you are free to think and wish for what you want. Don't forget one thing though, wishes seldom come true. Sometimes, it is better not to wish for anything at all. It is good to know how far your loyalty to me goes, but I would never ask of you or anyone else of my team to die for me. All the others do not matter.

Asking me why I saved you was a stupid question indeed. You know why. I had visions of you and vaguely of Nagi and Farfarello even before I graduated from Rosenkreuz. From what I have seen I knew you would be the right one. Only later did I realize that you would become a friend. It was something that I though I would never have. A person I could trust and depend on, but you know this already and I see no reason to repeat myself. I don't know if you are the strongest telepath there is, it could be Rosenkreuz lied, they always do, just to make you arrogant. Strength doesn't only lie in having strong shields. Other telepaths who had almost impenetrable shields, like I, had become mad. Your shielding has always been bad and still you didn't go mad and you are yourself. I think that is being strong.

Schuldig, don't act so surprised about me staying awake for 24 hours. I'm sure you take it for granted and never wondered why our team functions so well and everything is taken care of on time. I've gotten used to go without sleep for a day and coffee usually helps. On that note, you have to go and buy some, we are almost out of coffee.

Oh, did I say nonsense about your 'confessions'? It was very late when I wrote back. I don't remember very well. I admit it was not nonsense. On the contrary it was an interesting inside what you think about the team, yourself and me.

**A/N: **Well there is another chapter, what did you all think? Please keep up the reviews!!!

Thank you for the reviews as well everyone! They are VERY much appreciated by us!!!


	5. You wish that was the end…

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, still not writing another one. Check the earlier chapters.

**A/N:** Well Brad writes a half a page and Schu feels the need to make up for him. Hope you all enjoy the next chapter.

**Chapter 5: You wish that was the end…**

You aren't going to write back Braddy? Does that give me full right to spill everything here and not have to worry about having it torn apart? Or have you already decided not to read everything because of how I started this? I guess here goes nothing either way…

First off the only part of you I know is the part you let me know. I only know the Brad that you allow out when we are together, which on that point is very seldom. I will always watch your back, and I am happy to know that at least you are a little at ease when you are around me. To be totally honest that surprises me, I thought you were probably even more on your guard when I am around. Maybe I should end my wishing there and just live with the knowledge that I can at least help you relax from time to time.

Now speaking of wishing, my dear Bradley, you tell me to go ahead and wish for what I want, yet you turn around and tell me not to hope for it. Don't even deny it; you may not have said it in those exact words but that is pretty much what you told me. Is that truly how you feel? That this wish won't come true? If so then maybe I should just move on with my life, I would rather not be stuck in one moment in time. I've been in that position before and I would rather not return to it. Even at that very thought I have to laugh, considering you were the one who pulled me out of that. You were the one who did save me from being stuck in a moment. It's almost ironic how it has happened again, but this time I'm stuck on you. I will give my life to save yours, and you can't change that. I wouldn't want you to ask that of me either. If you did, wouldn't that defeat the purpose of being loyal to you? I don't think I would follow someone who was asking me to die for them.

Well I'm happy to say that one statement out of everything you wrote at least made me smile. I believe you said "you would become a friend" right? I'm glad to know I hold a special place in your heart. Maybe even that paragraph is keeping me from saying some of the things I want to. Things that I know I couldn't ever say to you because they aren't true, and never will be true. I guess those past two sentences were kind of worthless when you don't know what I was thinking. Let's just end this part with; I'm happy you said what you did.

As for being powerful or not, I don't know and truly I don't care. I know my shielding is practically worthless and you are the only one helping me with that. In fact most of the time you are the only one holding me together, and the only person I can lean on. I am pretty confident in saying; no matter what you ever do to me I won't leave your side. I don't think there is a single thing that would have the power to drive me away from you. Ok I lied, there might be one thing. If anyone ever threatened you because of me, I would leave to keep you safe. Well, at least try to keep you safe. I guess I wouldn't know if that would truly help or not, but I would try anything to make sure nothing happened to you. That is one thing no one will ever be able to change about me, and that is why I want to make sure you are safe.

As far as my sanity goes, I plan on keeping that for as long as possible. Well at least keeping what I have left of it that is. I can't say whether I am sane or not, but I guess you are right that there are those out there worse off than me. I believe once again I owe that to you. I probably wouldn't still have what sanity I do if it wasn't for you. I have also come to believe that as long as you are near me, I will be able to hold on to that sanity. I also believe that sanity is one thing I will need to be useful to you, and I know that being useful is one of the key requirements for staying near you. So in turn my sanity is very important to me. I guess you can mark two things on my list of keeps: my sanity and my personality.

I don't take everything for granted, but I will admit I seem to. I know you are the only one that puts everything into keeping this team together, and keeping us on top. I know you are the one who makes sure everything is going according to plan, and that there is nothing in the way to mess it up. I do realize all this, contrary to popular belief. I just don't understand how someone can stay up that long. I was always so sure that eight hours of sleep was necessary for a body to function properly. Well I guess having said that, most of my beliefs have been proven wrong so I shouldn't be surprised that another one was. Though I do know you are special and I believe that no one could do everything you do.

I promise to go get coffee; in fact I'm about done with this so I will run to the market as soon as I end this and go get it. I don't want to deal with you without your coffee and for that matter I wouldn't be the happiest person without my caffeine either. So let's just say for the sake of the household, I will go out and get more coffee.

Well at least you think my 'confessions' are interesting. Now if I can just determine whether you believe them or not. Well look at that, I have a new goal in life, determine if Braddy believes me or not.

On that note, I think I will leave this here. It isn't that late and I am thinking that the bars will still have some cheap drinks left. I promise to come home sober; I just need alcohol in me. Did I just call this place home? Wow, maybe I feel more content around you than I even knew. I've never called somewhere home.

Well like I said cheap liquor and then back. If I do come home drunk… I have no idea, but I promise I won't. I have no reason to piss you off anymore than I already have, dear leader. Also I will bring the coffee home before I go out. Just in case you want coffee when you get back and I am not here. This would also mean that the coffee isn't here yet either and I happen to know that equation happens to equal an angry Brad. So coffee will be here when you are reading this letter.

I guess since you aren't writing back to this though it really doesn't matter does it? I don't have to worry about pissing you off to much, but I would rather avoid the situation anyways. Hope work went well and I hope you have a good night's sleep, Brad. I probably won't see you till the morning.

**A/N:** Well another chapter down. What do you think? Do you think Brad will write back? I guess we will all find out!


	6. Request for Answers

Disclaimer: points to chapter one Look there!

A/N: Simple thanks to Brenn again for this chapter, and I am actually kind of surprised Brad wrote back. Hehe! Very glad he decided to though. Well everyone please read and enjoy. Also remember to leave you comments at the end. puppy eyes while pointing to the submit button

---Request for Answers---

Brad came back late from work and was not in the best mood. The employer had kept him unusually long, but his mood improved a bit with the knowledge that he would at least get paid for doing over hours and that would certainly not be cheap.

After disposing his shoes in the hallway he came to his room and put his suitcase on the table. As for the past few days a neatly folded letter laid waiting for him on his glass desk. Brad opened and just looked at it for a moment. Like usual Schuldig had a lot to say and wrote three pages while Brad only needed one. He put it back down and took his jacket off first then loosened the tie around his neck. In his last letter he said that he was not going to reply to any of Schuldig's letters. More importantly he even wrote about not bothering to read them, but now that it was lying in front of him and being three pages long Brad was curious. It always amused him how much Schuldig had to say. With a shrug he picked the papers back up and started to read. What harm would there be in just reading? It was not like he would reply to all his nonsense.

When Brad had finished reading he folded the papers back as they had been and couldn't help but sigh. Schuldig had indeed a talent to irritate him. Despite that the redhead had written some interesting things and now Brad had questions to which he wanted answers.

He picked a new piece of paper and copied Schuldig's lines.

'_I believe you said "you would become a friend" right? I'm glad to know I hold a special place in your heart. Maybe even that paragraph is keeping me from saying some of the things I want to. Things that I know I couldn't ever say to you because they aren't true, and never will be true. I guess those past two sentences were kind of worthless when you don't know what I was thinking.'_

Below it he wrote his reply_: 'And what do you exactly want to say to me that you can't?'_

Having done that Brad put both letters in Schuldig's room and went back to his own to get some much needed sleep. The telepath was away so he had no other choice but to wait till morning and ask him in person or just read his letter if he should write back. Schuldig's last sentence _'Let's just end this part with; I'm happy you said what you did.' _sounded like he did not want to talk about it.


End file.
